"In dog training, jerk is a noun, not a verb."
"If your dog is too fat, you are not getting enough exercise."
"Every dog isn't a growler, and every growler isn't a dog."
"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
"When its raining cats and dogs, be sure not to step in the poodles."
"I know that dogs are pack animals, but it's difficult to imagine a pack of standard poodles . . . and if there was such a thing as a pack of standard poodles, where would they rove to?
"If your dog thinks you're the greatest person in the world,
don't seek a second opinion."
"Never trust a dog to watch your food."
"Blessed is the person who has earned the love of an old dog."
"Thorns may hurt you, men desert you, sunlight turn to fog;
"Whoever said you can't buy happiness forgot about little puppies."
"In dog years I'm dead"
"No matter how little money and how few possessions you own, having a dog makes you rich."
"Scratch a dog and you'll find a permanent job."
"Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing right in your ear."
"Properly trained, a man can be a dog's best friend."
"I can't think of anything that brings me closer to tears than when my old dog -- completely exhausted after a hard day in the field -- limps away from her nice spot in front of the fire and comes over to where I'm sitting and puts her head in my lap, a paw over my knee, and closes her eyes and goes back to sleep. I don't know what I've done to deserve that kind of friend."
"There's facts about dogs, and then there's opinions about them. The dogs have the facts, and the humans have the opinions. If you want the facts about the dog, always get them straight from the dog. If you want opinions, get them from humans."
"A man's soul can be judged by the way he treats his dog."
"I wonder what goes through his mind when he sees us peeing in his water bowl."
"The dog's kennel is not the place to keep a sausage."
"Outside of a dog, a book is probably man's best friend, and inside of a dog, it's too dark to read."
"Dogs are our link to paradise. They don't know evil or jealousy or discontent. To sit with a dog on a hillside on a glorious afternoon is to be back in Eden, where doing nothing was not boring -- it was peace. "
"The scientific name for an animal that doesn't either run from or fight its enemies is lunch."
"To his dog, every man is Napoleon; hence the constant popularity of dogs."
"A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down."
"Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? I think that is how dogs spend their lives."
"Did you hear about the dyslexic agnostic insomniac who stays up all night wondering if there really is a Dog?"
"I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and give the wrong answers."
"I loathe people who keep dogs. They are cowards who haven't got the guts to bite people themselves."
"Acquiring a dog may be the only opportunity a human ever has to choose a relative."
"The fidelity of a dog is a precious gift demanding no less binding moral responsibilities
than the friendship of a human being. The bond with a dog is as lasting as the ties of this earth can ever be."
"No animal should ever jump up on the dining-room furniture unless absolutely certain that he can hold his own in the conversation."
"Ever consider what they must think of us? I mean, here we come back from a grocery store with the most amazing haul- chicken, pork, half cow. They must think we're the greatest hunters on earth!"
"I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult."
"My dog is worried about the economy because Alpo is up to 99 cents a can. That's almost $7.00 in dog money."
"Some days you're the dog, some days you're the hydrant."
"If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is that certain dogs I have known will go to heaven, and very, very few persons."
"You enter into a certain amount of madness when you marry a person with pets."
"Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful."
"Women and cats will do as they please and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea."
"In order to keep a true perspective of one's importance, everyone should have a dog that will worship him and a cat that will ignore him."
"There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face."
"When a man's best friend is his dog, that dog has a problem."
"Cat's Motto: No matter what you've done wrong, always try to make it look like the dog did it."
"Money will buy you a pretty good dog, but it won't buy the wag of his tail.."
"No one appreciates the very special genius of your conversation as the dog does."
"A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself."
"Man is a dog's idea of what God should be."
"The average dog is a nicer person than the average person."
"He is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog. You are his life, his love, his leader. He will be yours, faithful and true, to the last beat of his heart. You owe it to him to be worthy of such devotion"
"Heaven goes by favour. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog
would go in."
"We need another and a wiser and perhaps a more mystical concept of animals... In a world older and more complete than ours they move finished and complete, gifted with extensions of the senses we have lost or never attained, living by voices we shall never hear. They are not brethren, they are not underlings; they are other nations, caught with ourselves in the net of life and time, fellow prisoners of the
splendor and travail of the earth."
"I care not for a man's religion whose dog and cat are not the better for it."
"If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went."
"If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you; that is the principal difference between a dog and a man."
"Things that upset a terrier may pass virtually unnoticed by a Great Dane."
"I've seen a look in dogs' eyes, a quickly vanishing look of amazed contempt, and I am convinced that basically dogs think humans are nuts."
you want the best seat in the house ... move the dog"
"My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpets or ruin our lives."
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